The waiting Game: Will a guy take me seriously if I make him wait for sex?

Throughout my life, I’ve always been taught by either society or family, even friends that if you want a guy to take me seriously, or see me as ‘Wife material’ then I should make him wait until we have sex for the first time.

TV personality Steve Harvey’s  book, which later turned into film  ‘Act like a Women, Think like a man’, encouraged women to withhold sex for 90 days from their romantic interest.

Yes. 90 DAYS. 90 F***ing DAYS!!!!!!!!

Steve Harvey’s advice is supposed to help women avoid heartbreak from men who only want that ONE thing. If a guy waits for 90 days then that shows that he’s serious about you and respects you. If he’s out the door as soon as you mentions the 90 days, then apparently he’s not a keeper.

We need to get rid of the misconception that women cannot have causal sex, without getting emotional attached. This urban myth needs to die and it needs to die today!!

Yes we are emotional, but that does mean that once i give you a blow job, im going to start planning our wedding. It was just a blow job mate, setttle down mate.

Some girls just want the dick, no offence.

Some girls want a bit of fun.

Others want commitment.

My point is that women are not a monolith. We’re not all the same. We all think differently. We all handle our emotions differently as well.


And that’s the same for men too. Not all of them are Dogs. There are nice guys out there ladies.

Just imagine this scenario.

You meet a guy, you start texting him. You’re texting for a few weeks, and you’re soon going on a first date with him. During the Date, sparks are flying, the conversation is flowing quite well. He even pays for the meal! Take in into consideration, throughout the date, all you that was on your mind was him f***ing you into oblivion. But how do you tell him that? Do you even tell him? Obviously there’s a fear of judgement. He might find you easy, or even scary to be honest. Or even worse, you have fears that he might not take you seriously after you have sex. A little WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA’MAM probably what you’re looking for something serious?

Imagine the sex is good. Actually amazing! Toe-curling amazing! But you don’t hear from him again. No texts. No returned calls. He just vanished, in other words he ghosted :/

This is one the most common fears that females have when it comes to having sex ‘too early’. However you shouldn’t put a timeline on when you choose to have sex with someone.

The guy might leave you after you’ve had sex after 2 years.

…And he can leave you 2 minutes after having sex.

You really can’t pinpoint the best time to have sex with someone for the first time. Unless if you’re psychic, then go head!

But what I have a problem with is that, girls are being taught that they should hold out against having sex. But the same advice isn’t encouraged towards men. Do you know what this is know as- DOUBLE FUCKING STANDARDS!!!


If men are celebrated for sealing the deal on the first date, as a sign of their masculinity and being the man. Why can’t women?

Within the African community, influenced by Christian values, a majority of females are encouraged by their parents and elders to ‘save’ themselves until marriage. However, I personally believe that this isn’t foolproof. What happens if on the wedding night, after waiting for 2 years to get Dick, your newlywed’s dick game is weakkkkkkkkk.  Okay, of course the first time you have sex with someone, it isn’t going to be perfect, especially if you’re a virgin, then there’s a possibility that there will be blood and guts flying everywhere (ewwww). Furthermore, after a countless more times of having sex with your husband, you cum to the conclusion that you’re both not really sexually compatible.  His go-to position is missionary, while you do not like giving him a blow-job. Moreover the most kinky thing you have ever done is having sex with no socks on! What I’m trying to say is that sometimes it isn’t worth the wait.


Unless if you’re super religious and vehemently believe that God will find you a husband, Sometimes it’s better to take the dick out for a test drive before you decide to commit. It doesn’t make you a bad person, or a slut. There is no magic number or the right time to have sex with someone. If you want to do it, then do it!

But don’t just have sex with a guy because you want him to like you. Don’t think that your pussy is made out of Gold, because it won’t make a guy stay.  Also, if you feel as if the guy is pressuring you to have sex, and you’re not on it, then DO NOT DO IT.

If the guy does not want to wait to have sex with you, then he isn’t the guy for you. Even if he’s begging, pleading for the pussy, do not give in otherwise you’re playing yourself girl :(.

Have sex because YOU want to. Whether it’s on the first date, or on your wedding night, or even if it’s behind a wheelie bin. Make sure you have sex because that’s what you want. You’re not having sex for religion, or for your parents, or society – You’re doing it for you. xx


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